Category: buddhism

There’s something more

There’s something more,
Than this,
There’s that,
That – which is not,
But could be still?

There’s something more,
It doesn’t exist,
Only in thought,
There is no more,
This is just now (this) (this) (this) (this) and (this).

Better is thought,
Better is judging,
Better is denial,
Better is deluded.

This is real,
This sight,
This sound,
This feeling,
This taste,
This smell,
This touch,
This thought?
Well the thinking happens,
But the thought isn’t real.

I speak as if I know it all,
But it’s not so.
Because,
There’s something more.
I feel it deep,
I feel it here,
I feel it now,
Now could be more.
Now could be better.
If I were here, if I were now, if I were more.

Slowing down

Recently it has been a bit of a roller coaster realising the power of the mind and that meditation actually changes something in your every day (after years of practice…). I am taking a conscious choice to just slow down and persist. Not get lost in any conciet that arises (and it does arise).

I’ve been feeling very calm recently as well as laser-like. So I think I will try to foster that calm some more. A quiet burn that hopefully will help me in my practice.

The act of reflecting on a day’s practice has been so beneficial to me to just track where I am. To see how I move around from pleasant practice to boredom sits to impatience on the cushion. Just highlights the utter changing nature of experience meditating. Helps me not grasp knowing it will fade really. Helps not to expect anything. This good stage I’m at will come and go.

Saying these ‘sage’-sounding words, makes me think of some of the hypocracy. In this stage I sort of want it to be over so I can get on with the meditation progress. There’s still that ‘what’s next’ and ‘what’s more’. I think ‘why did that night of sleep make me tired & drowsy while sitting? how can I avoid that?’ instead of acceptance of the present as well as the bigger picture of where I’m at.

I just really hope that I keep up meditation when the going gets rough. When the bliss wears out and the laundry calls, keep sitting. Keep at it.

Zafu Evangelist

I was reading Daniel Ingram’s Mastering The Core Teachings of the Buddha, in it it talks about a phase of a person’s meditation practice where they are quite fervant. They seem to think they have struck gold and think “Why doesn’t everyone meditate?”. They may mention to friends how blissed out their experiences are on the cushion in an effort to get them to meditate.

The fact is that I have an element of faith about where this is heading. Where meditation leads you. My aim isn’t to relieve stress or get better sleep. I respect and understand those aims but I think meditation can offer something far deeper once you do relieve that stress and get better sleep.

I feel reassured that more and more people are meditating even if it is using apps. I feel disapointed when I realise that the sort of meditator I am, is actually few and far between*. I feel worry about the comercialisation of mindfulness. I feel hope that more and more research is being done on effects of mindfulness & meditation.

It’s a mixed bag.

So I think I’ll reign it in, stop mentioning meditation when catching up with friends. Just walk the walk and sit on it (get it? do walking meditation then sit on the cushion to meditate… I feel you rolling your eyes).

*This may come across as pretentious. Me as a person who does unguided meditation that follows a vipassana or similar framework. I make no claims of being above anyone spiritually. I do support an element of pragmatism and secularism when it comes to meditation too, no need for dogma or religion.

Asking why on the cushion. Meditation Collection #1

I sit on the cushion,
I itch and twitch.
I say ‘itching’ and ‘twitching’,
To remind myself of what is.

I sit on the cushion,
I say ‘itching’,
Feel the itch,
My mind on the itch.

“Is there a mite on my face,
Crawling and making me itch?”
I say ‘wanting’,
I watch the desire to itch and scratch.

“Why is my face itching.
What could it be?”
I say ‘thinking’,
And leave it at the sense door.

“Why?”,
‘thinking’,
“But why?”,
‘thinking’.

The mindful mind is indiscriminate,
Just noticing the sensation.
There is no story to tell,
Just experiences to note.

I sit and I sit and I sit and I sit,
I itch and I note and I think and I note,
I remember the breath,
And I smile.

Three Marks

Some people say that some things

never change,

some things

feel satisfying,

and some things are

part of me.

They say that life is solid and real. That we can find happiness in the world.

Other people say that everything

is impermenant,

everything is

unsatisfying

and that both everything and nothing is

me.

They say that what we say as real, is as real as you perceive it. That we can find happiness within ourselves.

What do you think?

24/7 mindfulness

Seeing, typing, feeling.

I have to note. Typing. What I am doing. Feeling. What I am feeling. Frustration. Where’s my attention. To be mindful. To remember. Hearing, tasting, smelling. Remember to be present. Itching. I’ll try to do it as much as I can. Feeling, pressing, sitting. But I feel like I am picking an object for attention for the sole purpose of noting. Confusion, anger, itching.

It can’t be done. Sitting, typing, feeling. No one can possibly remember all the time to do this. Grasping, blinking, rising. It’s relentless! Itching. I don’t have the vocabulary! Feeling.

Seeing, typing, feeling.

You & I

things you

control

is you

the part of you that is

unchanging

is you

what you are is

separate

from others

what if it is all

uncontrollable
changing
interconnected

then there’s no you

and there’s no me