Recently it has been a bit of a roller coaster realising the power of the mind and that meditation actually changes something in your every day (after years of practice…). I am taking a conscious choice to just slow down and persist. Not get lost in any conciet that arises (and it does arise).
I’ve been feeling very calm recently as well as laser-like. So I think I will try to foster that calm some more. A quiet burn that hopefully will help me in my practice.
The act of reflecting on a day’s practice has been so beneficial to me to just track where I am. To see how I move around from pleasant practice to boredom sits to impatience on the cushion. Just highlights the utter changing nature of experience meditating. Helps me not grasp knowing it will fade really. Helps not to expect anything. This good stage I’m at will come and go.
Saying these ‘sage’-sounding words, makes me think of some of the hypocracy. In this stage I sort of want it to be over so I can get on with the meditation progress. There’s still that ‘what’s next’ and ‘what’s more’. I think ‘why did that night of sleep make me tired & drowsy while sitting? how can I avoid that?’ instead of acceptance of the present as well as the bigger picture of where I’m at.
I just really hope that I keep up meditation when the going gets rough. When the bliss wears out and the laundry calls, keep sitting. Keep at it.
Thought Vacations 