Thought Vacations

how can i be present
when i can’t accept

how can i be kind
when i can’t love

how can i be at peace
when i am not here

how can i not
when i am

how can i
when i am

how i
when i

i
i

No, don’t say that.
That’s not what I want.
I brought up this, you should bring that.
You don’t look like you are here,
Your mind is still elsewhere

Put down your phone.
Be with me here.
See me.
Hear me.
Tell me you’re here.

I stutter, I splutter, I mish mash my words.
I fumble, I stumble, I spit out a mess.

How can any understand me.

I think, I flop, I race in my head.
I splish, I splosh, I cry and I weep.
I fart, I moan, I distract myself.
How can I ever know me.

Put down your phone,
And listen to me.

Put down your self,
And listen to me.

I’ll put down myself,
And listen to you.

I’m sorry I shouted,
I’ll listen to you.
If you’ll listen to me.

Oh don’t worry,
I was just being silly.
Just talking to myself.
Just alone with my words.

If I spent less I could do this,
I could do that,
If I spent less I could spend more (later).

If I spent less I would want less,
I would want better,
I would want less.

If I want less, I would spend less,
I would want less,
I would want better.

If I don’t worry, I feel better,
If I feel better, I wouldn’t spend,
If I worry, I will spend less,
If I worry, I will suffer more,

If I feel better, I would spend less,
If I spend less, I would be better.

If I write poems, I would think clearer,
If I think clearer, I would spend less.